she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize