So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
