thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
