Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize