READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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