In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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