Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
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There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
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dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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