the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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