You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
