Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
