Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
