And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I am naked and annoyed.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
