I am puke
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
