New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
