dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
