some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
