It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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