How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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