Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
