It's like God shit irony all over that family
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I have already put on my inside pants.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
