You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
