Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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