Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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