Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
