If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
