So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
