I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
