Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
