So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
