that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
