M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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