i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
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