Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
this just has baby written all over it
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
