is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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