Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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