I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
