Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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