Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize