next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
