You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
