I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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