THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
if only i could text you this smell
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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