woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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