A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
