This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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