I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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