if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
