I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
