SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
