I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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