Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
