so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
