I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
