no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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