I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
