i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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