I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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