I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
