i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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