okay pat passed out under dana's car
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
