I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
