God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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