I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
