Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
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His hands were made for my vagina.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
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