i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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